Posted by: ladybughugs | June 13, 2008

What are little boys made of?

There are not enough minutes in the morning for me to have the luxury of doing any one thing by itself. I’m on my own and outnumbered by the two kids because H leaves so early he wakes the birds. His job: official bird-waker (no, not really). So I end up multi-tasking my way through our routine, adjusting it as necessary to conform to the mood swings I encounter on our way out the door.

One morning this week Scout was preparing oatmeal for himself and his little sister, just as he does every morning, and I was talking on the phone with a friend when Lil’bug (who was sitting in her seat at the table, anticipating her oatmeal) announced she had a booger.

Friend: What does she have? (she probably heard correctly, but wanted to be sure)

Me: A booger (to friend), (to Lil’bug) here I’ll get a tissue and help you (sounds of gagging coming from across the kitchen, laughing coming from the phone).

Scout: (comes over and sits in his seat at the table, because gagging across the kitchen, apparently, isn’t dramatic enough)

Me: Please go fix oatmeal for you and Lil’bug.

Scout: I can’t eat, I’ve lost my appetite.

Me: GO! fix oatmeal for yourself and Lil’bug (friend, laughing, she’s such a good friend). (to phone) Gotta go, I’ve got my hands full here.

Scout: Fine, but I’m not eating.

It went on like this for a while and yes, he eventually ate his oatmeal. After reheating it and then complaining about the texture and anything else remotely related to the subject and he was still eating after she’d finished her oatmeal, a yogurt drink, and a couple of handfuls of grapes.

Where did I get him?! Yes, I’ve been known to be a princess at times. I didn’t like getting my hands dirty as a child/teen, but I don’t think I’ve ever lost my appetite at the mere mention of something distasteful. Also, there was no way he was going out of the house without breakfast. He forgets his lunch way too much for me to allow him to go off to school with nothing in his stomach.

It’s not just boogers, either. … Poopy diapers, even if they’re wrapped up tight and are clean and dry on the outside and would only need to be carried and deposited into the garbage can. I’m not asking him to change them! … Bugs, any kind of bug. He cannot understand his cousin’s fascination with all things bugs. His cousin will get up-close-and-personal with almost any bug, not these, though. Scout tolerates ladybugs (good thing) and butterflies, that’s it. … The upside is that I don’t need to remind him to wash his hands after cleaning the kitty litter.

I think what this boy needs is a week at Camp Treasure Quest, cleaning out stalls and chicken coops (don’t go looking for Camp Treasure Quest, it’s a reference to a family member who has a few horses and some chickens, any resemblance to anything real is purely coincidence, isn’t that what they say at the beginning of the crime dramas?). What do you think?

Camp Treasure Quest

Hoss, Alfie, and Party Machine

I think they need some 9-year-old companionship.



  1. I know what you mean. My 3 y.o. is terrified of all living creatures besides people. Bugs, dogs, birds, squirrels. Who ever heard of a boy afraid of bugs?! Of course, his older brother is fascinated by bugs, and taunts his little brother with them.

  2. My dad was a man’s man. He farmed, could fix anything, built stuff from metal and drank Pabst Blue Ribbon. But you put him elbow deep in a deer’s belly and he would turn green. Me, i’m only half as manly at best but i can clean anything dead with no problems at all. Your son may just need a bit more fresh air. he’ll come around. plus he has a super-cool name, so that should help (or is that his screen-name?)

    Summer camp helped my oldest one. She turns into a completely different kid for two weeks. (She’s there as we speak. Boys in her unit this year. Yikes!)

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